Hello, Kindred Spirit, and welcome to the Light Bears Library. My name is Kate Harmony. In today's journal entry, I want to talk about ugliness and how it is a soul destroyer for us as highly sensitive people, highly sensitive souls, empaths. If you know, you know. Ugliness is not something that is just a nice to have, or, you know, us being picky or it's just a preference. It's something that is uh a need for us. It's a form of, I like to think about our environment as a form of self-care. Because we have such a deep um, you know, sensory processing of of things. We we take in all the sensory information from you know our our environment and it it it impacts us more deeply than other people. And this is a scale, you know, my husband is way more sensitive than I am, and um and then there's others that are way less sensitive than than we are. So if this if this feels like something that that you know resonates with you, then then you'll probably appreciate this. Um but you know, I think the thing is is that we know this in our souls that ugliness kind of is just like this this is assault. You know, we we don't want to be be around it. And um, but I don't think that the world, I don't think the population in general, non non-highly sensitive people, even think about this stuff necessarily. You know, yeah, they'll look at a beautiful picture or beautiful architecture or whatever, and they'll be like, yeah, that's nice, and you know, but living in a beautiful environment or not, it doesn't really phase them one way or another. So, you know, I think the thing is is that they don't if if if we even talk about this sense of of ugliness being an assault on our senses, on our souls. They're like, we're likely to get like very odd looks or you know, be dismissed or just kind of be ignored, and be like, okay, weirdo, right? Um but I I came across this this this word the other day, and and of course, you know, um it's it it's like aesthetic, but it's an astet, as the A-E-S-T-H-E-T-E. So it's one having some someone who has a heightened sensitivity to beauty in art or in nature. And it's funny because this term it was saying like also has derogatory connotations. So that that aesthetes it's a bit of a funny word to say, as aesthetes, um focus on like aesthetics at the expense of practical concerns. Okay, practical concerns. Um but but that's the thing, right? It's seen as a bit of a derogatory thing. But needing, need it's a it's a need that we have, a need for for beauty, uh because it's it's a form of of self-care, of looking after ourselves when we're bombarded with and I'm and I and and here talking about you know our our environment being where we live, because you know, I'm I'm moving again, and whenever we consider a move, we're always considering the the the environment that we're moving in. Um and since moving from the coast, the west coast, to um Alberta in Canada, it's it's been a really hard thing. I didn't realize how much the environment affected me. And it's kind of like a subconscious or unconscious, subconscious thing where where it doesn't necessarily um I don't know, it doesn't if you if it's if you if I'm not as sensitive as my husband, it's not something that I think about la um it and but he does. He he's so sensitive that it was like a shock coming here and the the brown of the winter and the you know sort of the everything. Because he grew up in South Africa, which is of course beautiful, um, and then lived in London, which has beautiful architecture, and then came to Canada and the West Coast, which has beautiful trees and nature and ocean and um wildlife. And then coming here is kind of like there's no that's like and uh hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? So we must say that, you know, different people like grew up with different um concepts of beauty or different landscapes that that make them feel at home or that are beautiful to them, you know, maybe barren landscapes are something that are just soul-nourishing to some highly sensitive people. And when they go to say a a tropical place, it's it's it's foreign and it's kind of like it does nothing for them in terms of beauty and nourishing their soul. They want to go home go home to say, I'm thinking kind of like, you know, Iceland or, you know, even even here, it, you know, it's like these the rolling brown hills. It's like my husband was like, if this feels like living on Mars. And I was like, oh, I mean, I grew up with I grew up here and grew up with it. So it's kind of like, you know, it it's it's like neither here nor there, really. It's it does nothing to inspire my my soul to the beauty like the West Coast. But um, but anyway, um, so beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And um, but I think when we tune into our environment to see how it makes us feel, and and if you've been other places and have had the the privilege to travel other places, you kind of can get this sense of of what kind of makes your soul feel alive and um that we can we feel like we can thrive in that place because of the the beauty of whether it's the beauty of the nature or the beauty of the architecture. Um I think I missed saying that where I'm living also doesn't have beautiful architecture, like Europe or even Eastern America, where there's just it's just full of old architecture where they prioritized beauty, you know, where they made things that were beautiful. Nowadays it's like oh, there's so many like tiki-tacky houses in in Alberta. Because they, you know, you can make them super fast and they're all kind of the same, and you know, whatever, whatever, right? And so it's cheap and people can buy them, and I have no problem with that, you know. But what I'm saying is as a highly sensitive person, it it's it's just it's kind of it it's an assault, and it feels like my soul is slowly shriveling. Um because it it it's kind of like we have porous boundaries as highly sensitive people. We we we're more like our environment ref um, I don't know, our environment kind of seeps into us as highly sensitive souls. So we we feel the environment and we like what we see in the environment kind of becomes a part of us. And and so when that is ugly to us, then it starts to feel like our soul kind of slowly is is dying. It can lead to to a sense of of loss and and despair. Um if you if you move, like I'm not entirely certain for people who lived in the same place, you know, um all their life as a highly sensitive person. I I don't know. Um if you if you have, like I'd love to hear your your your thoughts and comments on this. Um this is just my experience and my husband's experience. Um, but it's like there's this connection between our outer environment and our inner soul life, you know, our inner well-being. So we need to seek beauty. And it that beauty is not a luxury, it's not a nice to have as a highly sensitive person. It's it's it's a need. And um, it's a need for our mental health, our soul health, our well-being. And it's a form of almost like if we think about it as a boundary setting of saying, no, this is like I need beauty inside my boundary. Like, you know, I'm not willing to live in a place that's that ugly. And, you know, currently we're kind of a little stuck here. So it is what it is, and we're hoping to move somewhere that has a little bit more character. You know, this this idea of character, right? We I love places with character, and so many rentals, unfortunately, are just just they there's no character, none, right? Tiki-tacky again. And so how do we how do we kind of deal with this? Is to, you know, if we can't we can't control what's outside, like if we can't move to a a place where it fills our soul with the beauty of, say, for us, it was the West Coast. And I, you know, I don't think my husband quite realized how important that was for him when he moved here. And all it was a real shock to the system for him and has been for years living here. So we're managing it, not really. Um, because when we go out, it's he's just like, ah, it's so ugly, you know, the strip malls and the big, big box stores and the and the you know uh anyway. But how can we deal with this? So how can we deal with it in our inner, inner world? And uh I don't doubt that as highly sensitive people, um, you all have found this way in your inner, your inner sanctuary with you know, plants that are alive that that we tend and that provide, you know, the cleaner air and living, living, other living beings in our space. Um and lighting is so important, as you know. Um, I don't have twinkly lights at the moment, but I just love twinkly lights and my salt lamp and lamps um provide that ambiance that we need, right? That sense of feeling cozy and at home and safe. And um and art, art. You know, my my husband's grandfather was uh an artist and he has some of his paintings from South Africa and some of his artwork. So so those are on our walls and help us to feel grounded wherever we are because they move with us. So it's like, okay, when we put them on the walls, it's like we're home and uh we could probably do with a lot more art. I think that's probably something we need to, you know, put uh put more emphasis on in our in our future is putting more art on the walls that that reflects the beauty, you know, to our eyes inside as opposed to looking out and it's just brown or white most of the year here. So um and so the last the last thing is um I'd like to say is that you know we're we're not being difficult. Okay, this is this is not something it's okay to need beauty to survive and thrive. And the the world will tell us otherwise and it will laugh at us or whatever. It it just won't, it doesn't get it. It doesn't get it. Because if it got it, then we'd build differently now, but we don't. We build tiki-tacky and everybody's fine with it, you know. If people were wanting and demanding more beauty in houses, in architecture, um, you know, supply and demand, supply and demand. It's like people, right? So um anyway, I don't know how you feel about all that, but um, I would love to know what is one ugly thing in your life that that drains you, and what is one beautiful thing in your life that that you know um feeds you, nourishes your soul that you really depend upon um in your soul. So I would love to hear from you about this topic because it's something that my husband and I talk about quite often and like basically whenever we go out, because it's an assault out there. Um, but it's not something that we've ever talked with um to other people much because you you just know. You just know that they're not interested in talking about that or they don't get it. So you just kind of shut your mouth and uh leave it at that. Anyway, I would love to hear from you in the comments. If this was if you enjoyed this and it was helpful to kind of reflect on this topic, please do give me a thumbs up and subscribe to the Library's Library. I would love to have you here, dear kindred spirit. Okay, well, I'm wishing you so many blessings signing off for today. XOXO Kate.