Hello, dear soul. In today's journal entry, I want to tell you that I think that highly sensitive men are the most beautiful souls in this world. And as you know, I have a highly sensitive husband. We've been together 11 years. And, you know, it's not easy being, you know, an empath or a highly sensitive man, all these things where your system, your body, you're you're you're tuned to a different way of being in the world than most people. And that just makes it very difficult. And I know it's can be exhausting. And there's a lot of suffering and pain and dealing with all sorts of things of PTSD and childhood stuff. It's just the list goes on and on. And so I want you to know that I I feel that and I see that. And so if you need a bit of a cheerleading, a cheerleading session today, then this journal entry is for you. Because I think that there is so much um I want to talk about manliness and sort of there's this whole conversation about sensitivity and masculinity and and so I don't have like this is not the end of like what my thoughts are, but I just had this thought today that, you know, I think that for me, what I appreciate about my husband and about men is when there's that centeredness of knowing, knowing thyself, right? I I love this this idea of we have to know ourselves. And so when when a man knows himself and is centered and and in that sort of calm place and makes decisions about his life from that place, I feel like that's the most powerful masculine trait that a highly sensitive man could have. And so my thoughts about this are that as highly sensitive men and and women, like this is this is a human thing. Like I think, um, but it's I'm seeing this in the comments that there's just, you know, the more that that someone, the more that a man knows who he is, the easier it is to make, you know, clear-minded decisions for himself and his family that don't care so much about what other people think. And um so it's kind of like this sense of unapologetic. That's the word that keeps coming to me, unapologetically sensitive, unapologetically, you know, an empath. And so I think the more that we learn about our the traits of highly of being highly sensitive, of being an empath, like in my last video, we talked about the book by Judith Orloff of Um An Empath's Guide to Survival. And um, you can read Elaine Aaron's book on high sensitivity. So really getting to know what it is that you need as a highly sensitive person, you know, it's like that you need to go to bed at, you know, midnight every day. And so, you know, if your significant other wants to keep talking past that time, it's kind of like, I need to go to bed now because I need to look after myself. Or, you know, it's it's about knowing that noisy situations really drain your energy. So saying no to noisy situations, regardless of what others might think of you, and and to sort of stand in that and say, yeah, noise really bothers, really bothers me. And like to kind of, you know, I brush off other people's I know it's easier said than done. Like, you know, we we kind of because we know we're different, and we know that we have different systems from most people, like highly sensitive people are, you know, 20% of the population give or take. And so, you know, most people are just like, what noise or what smell or right, whatever. But I I do think that there's this confidence that comes from just just being being ourselves and unapologetically, and um, I'm also highly sensitive. So it's um and making decisions about you know, workmates or whatever to to sort of just put boundaries up. And um, so I guess the conversation is a lot about boundaries and um but what I mean by boundaries is is about it's not even because when you when I think about boundaries, I think it's like, okay, well, it's it's this thing that we have to like get up the courage to kind of set with someone, but it's when we're living and centered in our, you know, we could talk about it as our true self, our authentic self, our soul self, whatever word, whatever word best suits you, it's like that's what I'm talking about. When we come from that place of knowing about our sensitivities and standing up for them, I feel like that's what I'm saying is we talk talk on on in the Library's library about you know being on our own team. It's like when a man is on his own team, first and foremost, and then we can think, oh, well, maybe this is this is this feels a bit like um selfish or whatever. And I like I'm so done with that because I think that when we're on our own team, when we take our sensitivities and our things seriously, then we show up as better husbands. We show up as, well, I don't show we uh men show up as better husbands, as better fathers, as better community members, whatever it is that you're engaged with, work workmates, right? Um like you do better work when you stand up for your you know your needs and say, like, I need a quiet space in the office to do my best work. It's like, you know, if you want the best work from me, like then that's what I need, or whatever. Um and I think we need to empower ourselves a little bit more with that knowledge. And way like when we do that, I think we'll feel more energized and motivated and confident. Because to do anything else, like to say, yes, I'll go to that after drinks party after work, it knowing that that will drain you for the next day, or knowing that, you know, like it just won't, it won't be, it won't feel good, you know, um, then we're doing the the people a disservice to go to that, you know, we'll feel resentful or whatever. So it's it's like I think, yeah, we just we we'll feel more more energized. And I think one of the big things about knowing ourselves, and I read this a lot in the comments, is um, and I was reading in Judith Orloff's book about the empath survival guide that that empaths and highly sensitive people, like they have such we have such big hearts, and I think can get into relationships quite easily with the wrong people. That's putting it lightly and mildly, um, toxic people, you know, all the things. And, you know, because we can you can convince yourself that, you know, I that this is this is this is gonna be great. And but when you know yourself and you're like, okay, I need to, you know, live alone, um, but like I'd like a relationship. So it's kind of like if you know that about yourself because you're so sensitive to everybody, to somebody's emotional life or somebody's energy, and it drains you quickly, if that's you, then it's like you might not be able to live with other people. And so having a someone who's okay with that versus getting into a relationship and being like, I really like this person, and you know, they want to move in together and like, ooh, I don't know. And it's kind of like you have to just be able to stand up for yourself and say, I this is how I need to be, to be the best human, to show up in the best way. Um, because if we get into these toxic relationships, it just drains the life out of the life force out of us, out of men that I've read in the comments so many. And then it can take years to recover from that. And I know a lot of you have had that experience. And so I think before getting into any relationship, it's like, know thyself, know what it is that you need for yourself. You know, I need this much sleep, I need to eat, eat at these times and have this healthy food. I need, you know, to not go to loud, loud places, or I need to all the things. And I think that's why reading these kinds of books helps to go, oh yeah, I do that or I need that, and I need to learn how to put up like barriers or boundaries between my poorest self and and others and all the all the things. I need to live near nature, I need to go to nature every weekend. It's like if that's a need for you, and you get into a relationship with someone who doesn't want to go and do that outdoor thing, you know, I've heard from men who have had that, and it's like then it's like it's it that relationship isn't gonna work. So we have very we have more, maybe we have more needs than others, and maybe you have more, and it's like that's okay, that's okay, you know. Um and so when we choose to get on our own, we talk choose to get our own team, and then we have we become stronger, and we become less fearful. And I don't know if this is maybe something that you you go through, like I know this has been my experience, is that I kind of have this tentativeness about um stating my needs or or wants for being kind of like I don't know, rejected or or abandoned or or like not loved because I I have these things that I need. And but I've come to this place of the worst has already happened. I have been abandoned by you know my mom and by the people that I thought. So it's like I've got nothing left to lose anymore about feeling like abandoned. So it's like it's great, it's actually wonderful to be freed from that that like ooh, if I do this, you know. Um but I think when we come to that place of knowing that these decisions are what we need for ourselves, you know, I need I need to live in the country, you know, and be in a calm space. And if someone, you know, my partner wants to move somewhere else, then it's kind of like I can't go. I need like this is how I need to live my life. Um and um yeah, so so then yeah, we can know what our what the best decisions are for us. And so I would encourage you to just keep keep getting to know yourself, keep learning about what it is that you need so that you can start being that manly man that just comes from that place of like no thank you, or you know, just to I think being able to say no is almost like really attractive. And I know for my husband being an INFJ, this can be really hard for you know, having that extroverted feeling function of like of INFJs really want to like be in harmony with others, they don't wanna say no and disappoint others or they they don't they know other people are gonna feel a certain way, so kind of mold and shape your own life around that and it's hard. I'm not gonna like I've I've watched my husband deal with deal with it and and also being an empath, like when we moved, when we made a massive decision that basically like has led to complete and utter rock bottom for him when we moved away from the coast, it's and mild weather, it's he thought he was maybe excited. He thought he was because I was excited. He thought he this was before we knew he was an INFJ, before we knew empaths, highly sensitive people. So it's it's we couldn't make the right decisions for us, and we made wrong decisions, and it can lead to not very good places. So if you're younger, like keep keep you know, keep being on the journey of of learning about yourself. And if you're older, then you've probably made a lot of these mistakes. And I would love to hear about all the journeys that you've been on. This this community is just so magnificent and wonderful. All of your all of your stories just make me and my husband feel not so alone. He says hello and um hello to his friends. Um, you know, it's helping him to feel like, okay, I'm not crazy, right? And you're not crazy. None of us are crazy. We just have sensitive systems and we need to look after them, and we need to be on apologetic in our looking after them. If you would like a space to speak with other highly sensitive men who know what it's like to go through the world in this in a similar way to you, and you'd like to speak about relationship stuff or stuff that's going on at work, whatever it might be, then you're warmly welcome to the library men's group. It's a by-donation drop-in gathering, and we just have such a lovely time just cheering one another on and and being compassionate, listening to each other. So I would love to meet you. And if you would like to keep the lights on in the Light Bearers Library, then I would love it if you would um consider donating at the lightbearslibrary.org. Well, I am wishing you so many blessings. Signing off for today, XOXO Kate.